


Wake Me Up

by featherlightflight



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Amnesia, Car Accident, M/M, Sort of a Slow Build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-16
Updated: 2013-08-16
Packaged: 2017-12-23 16:03:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/928440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/featherlightflight/pseuds/featherlightflight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry is happy. For the first time in what feels like a long time Harry is genuinely happy. The band is on their way to the top again, finally. He's done pretending to be somebody he's not (and he's done watching Louis pretend to date somebody that he's not). Everything just seems to be going <i>right</i>, and Harry is well and truly happy.</p><p>Until his whole world comes tumbling down around him and he's forced right back into pretending again in the most painful way possible.</p><p>(In other words I suck at summaries because I don't want to give anything away but at the same time I want it to sound interesting and I still haven't found a good middle ground there.</p><p>Basically Louis gets in a car crash and forgets everything but this isn't your average every day amnesia fic so do me a favor and take a leap of faith with this one and you won't regret it :) )</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wake Me Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \------IMPORTANT------
> 
> I started this story three years ago. I wrote 6 chapters (20,000 words) and left it for dead. At the time I had no real vision for where the story would go and I had no real idea of how to go about writing it. The first six chapters received an overwhelmingly positive response (despite the fact that they were never proof read and contradicted themselves on several points). Because of this I don't want to delete them entirely. I also, however, do not wish to build off of them and continue the story that way.
> 
> This first chapter contains ALL SIX of the original chapters. If you wish to read them feel free - just keep in mind that the information provided in this first chapter may not all be true as the story progresses. In addition, several plot points will be presented in a different way, and in a different order, in the final version of the story.
> 
> Anyways, thanks to everyone who read the original the first time around. Thanks to everyone who reads the new version this time around. Thanks to everyone, really, you're all wonderful.
> 
>  
> 
> If you do not wish to read the original six chapters you can skip over CHAPTER ONE: ORIGINAL and start the final version of the story with CHAPTER TWO: OFFICIAL BEGINNING

 

Original 6:

 

 

**\--------------------------------------------------------------------**

**\---- READ THE NOTES BEFORE YOU READ THIS CHAPTER, DO NOT SKIP THEM ----**

**\--------------------------------------------------------------------**

 

 

**Original Prologue**

\---------

It was raining. Again.

It seemed like it had been raining every day for the past week, maybe longer. Liam liked it because it kept the fans at bay, allowed him to go for his morning runs in peace. Niall liked it because it gave him a valid excuse to sit on his couch and do nothing all day. Zayn liked it because, well, there was a certain sort of romanticism to it that nobody else seemed to appreciate quite as much.

Harry, though, Harry liked the rain because Louis did. He liked the way it made Louis' uniform hug his body just a little bit tighter on the football pitch and he liked the way it always put Louis in a cuddly sort of mood and he liked the way the pitter patter of it on the roof of the tour bus would calm Louis' troubled mind and help him to sleep on particularly long rides.

He watched the rain drops race down the window of the van and wished Louis was in it with him.

None of the boys particularly liked that Louis was driving back from the concert in a separate car. Ever since they'd been put together as a band back on the X-Factor they made it a point of driving from the venue to wherever it was they were staying together. It gave them a chance to unwind as a group (or to psych themselves up even more after particularly good shows) and talk about silly things that had happened or exceptionally creative signs they'd noticed in the audience. More than anything though, it gave them time to be together.

That time together had been even more important to all of them over the past few months. Ever since the night Harry and Louis came out - accidentally at first and then officially and on purpose - things had been a bit rough for the band as a whole. The media went ballistic, the fans went ballistic, and to put it bluntly, everything fell to shit. There were so many people picketing their first public appearance after the official announcement that their management had been forced to cancel the event before the band had even arrived. It only got worse from there.

Louis spent almost a full month blaming himself for the end of their careers - for single handedly  _destroying_ their dreams.

It hadn't been his fault of course, not really. Sure he had been the one to cuddle up to Harry and he had been the one to give Harry a quick peck, but he hadn't known Harry was doing a twitcam. Actually he was under the impression that Harry had been barred from doing twitcams indefinitely.

One Direction was about a week away from being dropped by their label when, inexplicably, things started to turn around. Their twitter followers, which had dropped dangerously low after they officially announced that yes, Larry Stylinson was infact real, started to climb again and the amount of support they brought with them was immeasurable.

Everything seemed to get better from there on out. It wasn't fixed exactly, but it was getting there. According to their public relations chair they regained 82% of their original fanbase in about a months time and before long they were right back on track. Sure there was a bit more hate now than there used to be and maybe it was aimed a bit more towards Harry and Louis than anyone else, but all in all things were looking up.

As cliche as it sounds, the five of them were closer than ever, and they couldn't possibly have been any happier.

Unfortunately, their newfound closeness only made Louis' absence in the van that much more noticible. There hadn't really been any way around it though. He spent the afternoon in a hospital room with a girl who told the Make A Wish foundation that the one and only thing in the whole entire world that she wanted was to meet Louis Tomlinson. They took pictures together and talked and they even sang a few duets together and her parents had been so, _so_ grateful.

Louis was happy to take part of course, but with the timing of it all he'd been forced to drive straight from the hospital to the venue in his own car rather than being picked up at their complex (their little teletubby village as Harry so eloquently put it) with the rest of the band.

It was much quieter in the van without Louis. From his spot in the very last row of the 12 person van Harry could just barely hear the radio and, if he wasn't mistaken, the faint sound of Niall humming along in the row infront of him. Zayn was half asleep in the seat next to Niall, and Liam, well Harry couldn't quite tell what Liam was doing up in the front row but whatever it was it seemed to have his full attention. 

Harry didn't dwell on it long. Instead he turned his own attention back to the rain drops making their way down the window. He watched them make their way from top to bottom one at a time, trying to pick which would reach it first and which would be sucked up by larger droplets before they reached the bottom. Every now and then the light from Louis' headlights would hit them just right and for a few fractions of a second the window would look like a work of art.

Harry couldn't help himself. He took a picture and posted it to his instagram with the caption: _I love the rain! :)_.

It didn't take long for the 'likes' to start pouring in. It always amazed all five of them how quickly their fans seemed to notice the things they did. Harry particularly liked reading through the comments they left, especially now that a large portion of them expressed their support.

He was halfway through the third comment when the deafening blare of a car horn ripped through the silence of the van. It was followed almost immediately by the desperate squeal of tires on wet pavement and all four boys whipped their heads around just in time to watch the fireengine red front of an 18-wheeler ram into the driver's side of Louis' little silver BMW behind them.

The truck pushed Louis' car through the guard rail and right off the road before finally coming to a stop.

Harry's whole world came to a stop right there with it.

He was only vaguely aware of what happened next. His legs started moving and his desperate prayers were lost on even his own ears as he pushed himself up over the seats and out of the van.

Louis.

He needed to get to Louis.

He was almost there too, close enough to see that the headlights were shattered and so were the windows and the windshield and - and then all of a sudden the car stopped getting closer.

Harry kept trying to push forward, but instead of moving the only reward he got for his efforts was a harsh squeeze from the hands holding tight to his biceps.

"Louis-" Harry said frantically, his tone verging on manic, "please - please, I need to get Louis, I need to make sure he's alright!"

"Harry there's an ambulance on the way." A voice said. A voice that was much too deep and much, much too calm for Harry's liking.

"He needs me!" Harry insisted as he tried to push his way through to Louis with sheer brute strength alone.

He was only met by more resistance though. "Harry, listen to me," The voice said. He gave Harry's shoulders a small shake and side stepped to block Harry's view of the car. "Hey, look at me." He said.

"Hey!" Harry griped, but he did as he was told nonetheless and looked up to meet the mans gaze - a member of their security team as it turned out. Some new guy who's name Harry couldn't be bothered to remember at the moment.

"You can't go over there-"

"But Louis! Louis' in that fucking car!" Harry implored.

Much to his dismay Harry still wasn't allowed anywhere near the crash. He was however allowed to stay exactly where he was standing, and the rest of the boys were brought over by whoever had managed to hold each of them back.

As far as anyone could tell the 18-wheeler was hardly impacted at all by the collision. The driver clambered out of it without much trouble and, while he was rather shook up by the whole ordeal, he didn't appear to be hurt much beyond the point of whiplash and a few chemical burns from the airbag.

Louis' car on the other hand was a completely different story. All of the glass appeared to have shattered on impact and the right side-view mirror was missing entirely. The metal was crumpled and the car was mis-shapen and inside sat Louis, crumpled and bleeding.

 

 

**ORIGINAL CHAPTER ONE**

 

The ER was absolutely buzzing. The receptionist who helped to check Louis in said that the rain probably had a little something to do with it. She said people seemed to do all sorts of crazy things when it rained - that made them lose their heads just a little bit.

Harry felt like he was losing his head, sure, but he couldn't bring himself to blame any of what happened on the rain.

Instead he blamed the truck driver who ran the red light. He blamed the security guard who stopped him from getting to Louis. He blamed the EMT who wouldn't let him ride in the ambulance because he wasn't technically family and he blamed the construction worker that held them up a few miles back because if he hadn't they wouldn't have been at that intersection at the same time as the stupid truck in the first place and he blamed the salesman at the dealership who convinced Louis to get a tiny little silver BMW instead of an SUV like Harry suggested because while an SUV might have been a bit more protective the BMW was shiny and silver and Louis liked the way it made him feel just a little less little when he was in it.

He looked pretty little sitting in what was left of that stupid shiny silver BMW though. God, he looked  _awful_ sitting in the battered remains of that car - he was so small and pale and Harry had felt pretty small and helpless himself watching Louis bleed out from a football field away while they waited for the EMTs to show up.

All he knew was that it was bad. Louis was bleeding in all sorts of places and he was pale enough to mistaken for an extra in a freaking Twilight movie and, worst of all, he was unconcious.

It just kept replaying in his mind - the flash of the headlights and the desperate squeal of the truck's breaks working overtime to stop. He could steal hear the sirens despite the fact that they were long gone and he could still hear the EMTs talking a mile a minute about things he couldn't even pretend to understand.

He supposed that was probably why, at the heart of it all, he blamed himself for the whole mess. Maybe somewhere deep down he knew there was nothing he could have done but that didn't mean he could brush the weight of it all off his shoulders. It was his job to keep Louis safe and happy and all Louis had to show for it was a fast pass through the ER waiting list.

He was already in surgery by the time they got there (every last one of them still soaking wet from having stood in the rain for so long). Paul tried to convince them all that it was a good thing, that if they were already working on Louis then there was probably a good chance that they would be able to save him. They all acknowledged Paul's words but none of them were any calmer now than they had been before.

They set up camp in the corner of the chaotic waiting room that was furthest from the door. Paul got permission from one of the receptionists to rearrange a few chairs and a coffee table and two potted plants and before long he'd managed to make them a secluded little area that was just far enough from the madness to give them all a little peace.

Liam claimed the chair in the corner, with Niall and then Zayn to his right and Harry to his left before looking to the stack of magazines on the coffee table in the middle of their small circle for a destraction. "What've we got here, anything exciting?" He murmured to himself.

As it turned out the answer was no. There were a few torn and tattered old medical journals (the newest one dated nearly five years ago), a handful of pamphlets urging people to take 'six easy steps to healthy living', and a couple of gossip magazines that were only slightly less ancient than the medical journals.

"Think we're in any of 'em, lads?" Niall asked as he leaned forward to snatch one of the magazines off the table. His voice was surprisingly cheery given the circumstances but then, Niall was always the second best at keeping up that care free veneer no matter the circumstances. Louis was always the best. "Twenty-three points to the first person to find a picture of themself in one of these magazines." He said.

"Points?" Liam repeated.

Niall just nodded, "yeh, points, y'know like 'welcome to Who's Line where it's all made up and the points don't matter'." He explained. 

"Right, well if there's twenty-three points on the table I guess I should probably start searching." Liam said. He grabbed a Teen Vogue and started flipping through it even though the date on the front was about a month or two before any of them had even tried out for X-Factor.

Harry didn't particularly want to participate but he picked up the copy of J-14 closest to himself and opened it up to a random page nonetheless. He might not have been able to distract himself from what was going on around them but he could still recognize Niall's feeble attemp and he figured it couldn't hurt to play along.

He couldn't really focus on what was written on the pages before him but the pictures were pretty enough. One picture in particular caught his attention though. Right there on the page, next to a header that read _'Tommo looking to tie the knot?'_ was a picture of Louis and Eleanor looking at engagement rings. It was a picture Harry knew well. For a little over a month after it was taken it was on the cover of nearly every gossip magazine out there. Harry hated it.

Louis hadn't even bat an eyelash though. He'd just come home from a meeting one night and said  _"Eleanor and I are going ring shopping tomorrow"_ , just like that, casual as ever as if he were talking about something as mundane and inconsequential as the weather or the score of the Man U friendly earlier that day.

Things escalated pretty quickly after that. Harry had stormed out in the middle of the fight and spent the rest of the week at Nick's.

It all seemed pretty silly in retrospect. He couldn't even remember why exactly he had gotten mad at  _Louis_ of all people, as if there was really anything Louis could do to change it. They might have a bit more say in what goes on in their lives than the fans seem to think but when it came to 'Elounor' there was really nothing any of them could do. If somebody decided they should be engaged then Louis and Eleanor would get engaged and that would be the end of it.

What he wouldn't give to have all of that back now. Sure being out was nice, incredible really, but when it came down to it he would go right back to hiding if it meant Louis could be happy and healthy again.

 Harry looked down at the picture again and sighed. "I don't think I want to play this game anymore." He mumbled - closing the magazine without even bothering to read the article about Louis' impending engagement.

"Nialler won like five minutes ago mate." Liam murmured in response. He took one look at the expression on Harry's face, though, and all pretense of the game was gone. "He's going to be alright, Harry, he will." Liam soothed as he pulled Harry into a tight hug.

Nearly an hour later though and there was still no word. Niall and Paul were both fast asleep, their necks resting at precarious angles in the uncomfortable waiting room chairs that were sure to leave them sore by the time they woke up. Liam went back to reading through the magazine (or rather pretending to read through the magazine) once Harry cried himself out. Harry, for what it's worth, had managed to pull himself together relatively quickly. He figured it was probably because he'd cried so much already that he didn't really have any tears left.

Liam and their second security guard (the one who Harry still hadn't quite forgiven for keeping him from Louis) passed out around the two hour mark which left just Harry and Zayn awake and waiting.

"Do you think it will be much longer?" Harry asked.

Zayn looked up at him, blinked once, and then droped his head right back down into his hands where it had been since they'd arrived. It was only then that Harry realized just how terrified Zayn looked. His eyes were dry but they were redder than Harry had ever seen them and his face was an odd sort of pale color. He looked worse than Harry had ever seen him in his life.

Harry wanted to help him, he really did, but he didn't have a clue what to say. He knew what Zayn was feeling. This sucked. Everything about this sucked. Harry knew that and, to make matters worse, he also knew that there was really only one person who would actually know how to handle something like this: Louis.

 Louis wasn't there to fix things though and Zayn didn't seem particularly interested in talking so Harry just pulled his knees to his chest and kept his mouth shut. It wasn't long after that that he fell asleep.

\---

When Harry woke up again it was nearly four o'clock in the morning. The madness of the previous night had settled into an early morning sort of calm. The sun was just barely high enough in the sky to cast a light glow on the pale yellow walls of the waiting room and Harry watched it slowly inch forward for a few moments before he noticed the quiet but all too familiar voice somewhere to his left.

"What does that mean?" He heard Jay whisper as he glanced over to where she stood just a few feet away, talking to a doctor who looked far too serious to be giving her any good news.

"It means that for now there's nothing else we can do for him," The doctor answered apologetically, "he's been stable for a few hours now and all of his stats look good but until he wakes up all we can do is monitor him and try to make him as comfortable as possible."

"Can I see him at least?" Jay asked.

The doctor glanced down at his clipboard for a moment before nodding slowly, "I don't see why not."

"Can I come?" Harry piped up, already halfway to his feet.

Both heads snapped over to look at him, each with a varying level of confusion. Jay's expression softened right away though and she didn't hesitate for even a second. She took three quick steps towards him and wrapped him up in a hug that was just shy of tight enough to crush some internal organs. He knew he was hugging her back just as tight though, so he really couldn't complain.

"How is he?" He murmured as he pulled back again.

Jay smiled softly and wiped at her eyes, "the doctor says he should be fine. I guess it um, it didn't look too good for a little while there uh, there was some glass and stuff in his arm and I guess he lost quite a bit of blood before they got there but like I said, the doctor says that once he wakes up he should be fine. I was actually just about to go check on him." She glanced back at the doctor as she motioned to Harry, "he can come along, right?" She asked.

"Of course, as long as it's alright with you." The doctor said with a quick nod, "just try to keep the groups small if you can once everybody else wakes up. I know there's a lot of you but if you could stick to groups of maybe two or three at most when you actually go in the room? That would be best."

"Certainly, yeah, of course." Jay promised.

The doctor nodded once more and pushed open the door he was standing in front of, "if you'd both follow me then."

He led them to the end of the hallway, and then another, before stopping infront of an extra wide wooden door. The plaque to the left of it read "Room 136" in bright white leters. Harry looked to Jay and Jay looked to Harry and for a moment neither of them did anything at all.

Harry took a deep breath and reached for the door handle before pushing it open and stepping into the room.

"Oh my poor baby." Jay gasped as she brushed right by him into the room and went straight for Louis' hand.

Harry couldn't seem to make his legs move though. Louis was pale enough to make the crisp white bedsheets look tan and there were enough wires and monitoring devices coming out of him to make Harry question whether or not there were really even that many things that needed to be monitored. He had a large bandage on his forhead just above his right eye (from where Harry was looking at least) and another wrapped around his right arm.

The most striking thing, though, was just how small he looked. Sure Harry had been taller than Louis for a while now, but Louis never really seemed  _that_ much smaller than him. For somebody so strong with such a big personality he looked awfully frail at the moment.

"Do you think he'll wake up soon?" Jay asked and when she looked up Harry could just make out the tears welling up in her eyes, threatening to spill over at any moment.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when the doctor spoke up behind him. Hadn't he walked away ages ago?

"I'd give it another hour or two at the very least, but I'd say the chances of him waking up sometime today are very high." The doctor said.

Louis didn't wake up that day though, and he didn't wake up the next day either. On the third day the Doctor moved him to a separate unit of the hospital where he was evaluated by a second doctor who, after several tests, announced that everything seemed to be in order.

Niall and Liam went home that night to sleep in their own beds but they came back early the next morning. It took quite a bit of convincing to get Jay and Harry to leave for a bit but they both went back to Harry and Louis' place to shower and get some real sleep in a real bed. When they came back Zayn and Liam left again but everyone else stayed.

It went like that for a few more days, rotating in groups of two and three between the hospital and their respective homes. Theresa, a close family friend of the Tomlinson's, brought all four of the girls down to see Louis about a week after the accident. They stayed for two days and Jay had no choice but to go with them when they left.

( _"Just because my world's stopped doesn't mean everyone else's has."_ Jay had said when Harry asked if she was sure she wanted to leave. _"Besides,"_  She had added, _"_ _s'not like I'm doing him much good sitting here crying by his bed. He'd probably be quite cross if he knew."_   and, well, nobody could argue with that.)

As it turned out the rest of One Direction's world couldn't seem to be put on hold either. Everybody wanted a piece of the tragedy and while none of them were particularly keen on talking about any of it, it was easier than admitting that it was getting harder and harder to walk back into that room every day.

They made sure Louis was never, ever, alone though. Anne and Gemma came to visit for two days and Lou Teasedale spent some time with him too. His friend Stan came down for a day and even people like Nick Grimshaw and Ed Sheeran (people who Louis had always seen as Harry's friends rather than his own) stopped by to check on him.

Harry spent as much time as he possibly could by Louis' side, and when he couldn't be there in person he always had his phone right by his side just in case. The hospital had been instructed to call Jay first, but Harry knew he was the next one on the list and he didn't want to miss that call just because he happened to leave his phone in another room.

That call just so happened to come almost three weeks to the day after the accident. One Direction had just finished a radio interview and they were all piling into the van to head home when Harry's phone started vibrating in his pocket. It vibrated twice before the alarm bells started and suddenly all eyes were on him.

He'd set the 'alarm' sound as Jay's ringtone days ago to make sure he didn't miss it - and all four boys knew it.

"Are you going to answer it?" Niall asked as he looked first to Harry, then down to the pocket where the sound was coming from, and back up to Harry's face once again.

"Yeah," Harry mumbled, "yeah." He pulled his phone out of his pocket and pressed it to his ear without even bothering to check the caller I.D. He already knew who it was, so there was really no need to. "Hello?" He asked.

"Harry dear?" Jay's voice came through the line, soft and sweet and calm. She didn't sound happy exactly, but she didn't sound like she was crying either and that lack of emotion confused Harry more than anything else.

"Is everything alright?" He asked.

There were a few long beats of silence before Jay spoke again, "Louis woke up this morning," She said slowly.

This morning? Louis woke up  _this morning_ and Jay waited until nearly half four to call him? Hadn't Louis asked for him? Surely he must have. "That's a good thing, isn't it?" He asked.

"It is, yeah." Jay agreed, "His doctor says he seems healthy as ever, a bit weak of course, but healthy. They said his blood pressure and his heart rate and all that important stuff look good." She still didn't sound happy or relieved in the least bit though, actually she sounded nervous.

"That's great, really great actually! We were actually just about to head home but I'm sure none of the lads would be opposed to going to the hospital instead, I'm sure-"

"Harry.." Jay said softly, and now she sounded really, really nervous.

Harry paused and ran a hand through his hair. Something was wrong, like really wrong. He could just tell. "What is it?" He asked quietly. All of a sudden he could feel the weight of everyone's eyes on him, like it was a tangeable thing that was slowly but surely getting heavier and heavier the further his own gaze dropped to the ground.

Jay sighed, "Harry he's got a bit of uhm, well the doctor's, they called it post-traumatic retrograde amnesia, but-"

"Amnesia?" Harry repeated.

"Yeah," Jay murmured, "he still knows who he is and all that, he's just forgotten a bit of time leading up to the accident."

"Oh, that's common though, right? I mean it happens all the time on TV and in movies and stuff, people always forget like an hour or two before some awful accident and then they remember it later, so it's not a big deal?" Harry asked.

There was another long silence. "He's lost a bit more than an hour or two, love." Jay said softly.

"How much time has he lost then?" Harry asked, "like a day or two?"

The silence that followed the question was longer than the previous few, and when Jay's answer finally came it was so soft that Harry almost missed it but no, no he definitely heard her say, "three years."

Oh.

 

**ORIGINAL CHAPTER TWO**

 

**Louis**

\---------

 

Beep.

Beep.

Beep. Beep.

Beep.

It was the first thing Louis was aware of as he came-to. The slow but steady strand of beeps coming in one by one (with the occasional two by two).

Beep.

Beep. Beep.

He felt groggy in a way that he hadn't in a long time. Sort of like how he felt after he had his tonsil's removed a few years back only.. different. It felt more like he had just woken up in a dream rather than from one.

Beep.

He blinked once, twice, and then brought a hand up to rub the sleep (and hopefully the haze-like blur) from his eyes, though he wound up keeping them closed instead. His arm felt heavy and stiff and if he moved it just so he recieved a dull pain that passed within seconds.

Beep.

Beep. Beep.

The longer Louis layed there the less groggy he felt. There was a dull, throbbing sort of sensation growing in his head that matched the dull pain in his arm which, much to Louis' dismay, was becoming more of a constant rather than a punishment for moving wrong.

A few minutes longer and he started to feel just a little nauseous. Not enough to actually warrant a trip to the bathroom but definitely enough to make him wish he were still asleep.

Beep.

Beep.

Had he gone out last night? He certainly felt like he did.

He figured he must have since he couldn't remember a thing. Judging by the way he felt he figured it must have been a pretty great night.

Maybe Stan had thrown a party. Or Tyler? He seemed to remember Tyler mentioning something about his parents being out of town so it must have been Tyler.

Cheers Tyler.

Beep. Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep. Beep.

Beep.

Louis sighed and rubbed at his eyes once again before blinking once, twice, three times and then opening them to stare up at the plain white ceiling. The room was nearly pitch black but Louis could already tell it wasn't his own.

Beep.

Had he spent the night at Stan's? Or maybe he hadn't even made it out of Tyler's house? Louis had had his fair share of black outs in the past, but never in all his 19 years had he drank enough to forget the  _entire_ night.

He sighed and dropped his eyes from the ceiling to the door, then to the window, and then to the three chairs lined up beneath it. It seemed like an odd way to arrange a bedroom, sure, but it wasn't until his eyes landed on the monitor to his left that he realized just where he was.

_Shit._

How on Earth had he ended up in the hospital? Did he try jumping off a roof or something? or- no. No, no, no, no, no. If he had to have his stomach pumped last night his Mum would kill him. 

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Beep. Beep.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

The machines were going crazy, a blur of numbers that were changing too quickly and irradic beeps that certainly couldn't be healthy.

Louis couldn't be bothered to notice though because, well, he was in the freaking  _hospital_ and he didn't have a clue how he'd gotten there.

He didn't get to wonder for very long. Within seconds the door flew open and in rushed a nurse in light blue scrubs. The lights came up automatically (or at least Louis assumed it was automatic since he didn't notice her turn them on or anything like that), and she made a beeline for the machines at his bedside. Her eyes flew over the screen with practiced precision before she turned to Louis.

"I need you to relax, love." She said, her voice calm and soothing as her features softened from the hard-pressed focus they displayed just moments ago, "you're perfectly alright, just take some deep breaths for me."

Louis did as he was told despite the fact that he didn't particularly feel like he needed to take any deep breathes.

What he needed was for someone to tell him what the fuck he was doing in the hospital and how he'd gotten here and why none of his friends had come with him and, probably most important, had anybody called his Mum yet and if so what exactly did they say?

Instead the only question that came out of his mouth was a gruff, "who are you?" The voice that came out of his mouth was hardly his own though. It was scratcy and surprisingly deep and for a moment he wasn't sure that he was actually the one who spoke. 

"I'm Heather, I'm a nurse here." She said politely. She got a cup of water from the sink and offered it to Louis. "I take it your throat is a bit sore then?" She asked as he took a few small sips of the water, "that's perfectly normal."

"What's going on?" Louis asked.

The nurse smiled softly, "you're in the hospital."

Louis couldn't help but chuckle. The real question there was meant to be 'why am I in the hospital' and that was how she answered? Did she honestly think he couldn't figure that much out by himself? Maybe she was here when he was admitted. _Maybe_ , he thought, _I was so drunk I really couldn't figure that much out by myself_.

"How are you feeling, any pain or discomfort?" She asked, "bit tired maybe?"

"Yeah, definitely tired." Louis agreed, "don't think I could fall back to sleep again though, y'know? Got a bit of a headache too, and my arm feels a little banged up and - y'know I didn't notice it before but my side hurts pretty bad."

"Can you rate that on a scale of one to ten? One being a prick on the finger and ten being completely and utterly unbearable." Heather asked.

Louis thought about it for a moment before deciding on a solid five. "Four." He answered.

"I think I might be able to help out with that just a little bit then." Heather said with a small nod, "let me just check something here-" she murmured, more to herself than to Louis. She picked up the clipboard hanging off the side of Louis' bed and, after looking it over for a moment, looked back to Louis, "Alright, I'm going to ask you a few questions, and I'm sure they're going to sound quite silly but I need you to answer them, okay? And then afterwards I'll see what I can do about getting you some more pain meds before that four turns into a six or seven."

She looked a lot younger now than she had when she walked in, early thirties maybe? Her hair was a light brown and it was pulled back into a tight pony tail that just barely reached her shoulders. She was pretty in a simple sort of way.

Louis nodded.

"Alright, first things first, can you tell me your full name?" She asked.

Louis pretended to consider for a moment before nodding, "Chester A. Williamson." He declared.

Heather looked worried. Really worried actually. Geez was he actually drunk enough to forget his own name last night? Dumb question - if he was drunk enough to end up in the hospital he was probably drunk enough to get his own name wrong once or twice.

"S'just a joke," Louis said quickly, "my name's Louis Tomlinson. Louis William Tomlinson."

Heather nodded slowly as she made a note on the clip board, "alright, and where are you from?"

"Doncaster."

"Can you tell me your birthday?"

Louis nodded, "Christmas Eve," He answered before adding, "December 24, 1991."

Heather made another note on the clipboard and then nodded, "perfect, and can you tell me how old you are?"

"Eighteen." Louis said with out missing a beat. He smiled and shifted a bit on the bed to make himself a bit more comfortable, "these questions really are quite silly."

"Eighteen?" Heather repeated. Her expression was unreadable but Louis didn't miss the way she paused before she spoke.

"Yeah, eighteen. I'll be nineteen next December." Louis elaborated.

Heather waited a moment longer before making another note on her clipboard. "Only a few more questions, Louis." She murmured, "what year is it?"

"2010." Louis answered easily.

Heather paused once more as her eyes scanned over the paper before her. She circled three things and asked a few more mundane questions - things like where Louis lived (which he claimed was his mother's house in Doncaster) and his address and her phone number (which he got right) - before making a few final notes. "Alright, the Doctor should be in to see you shortly. Can I get you anything in the meantime? Another glass of water maybe?" She suggested.

"Oh another glass of water would be great actually." He said with a quick nod, "thank you."

"Of course." Heather said with a small nod. She took the cup from Louis and refilled it before handing it back to Louis and starting for the door.

"Ehm, Heather?" Louis murmured.

She paused and turned backed to him with a patient but somewhat worried looking smile. Why on Earth did she look so worried?

"You haven't called my Mum yet, have you?" He asked nervously.

"I ehm-" Heather murmured. She hadn't called his Mum yet, of course she hadn't, because his condition hadn't changed at all in nearly three weeks. Louis didn't know that though, and Heather wasn't meant to be the one to tell him. There were very specific protocalls she knew she had to follow. "No, I haven't." She said with a small shake of her head, "she knows you're here though. Would you like the receptionist to pass a message on for you when she calls to let her know you're awake?"

Louis considered for a moment before nodding, "could you ehm, could you maybe just tell her that I fell down some stairs or something? She'll be real angry if she knows I had to have my stomach pumped."

"You what?" Heather asked before she could stop herself.

"I- sorry, did I not have my stomach pumped?" Louis asked, "I guess I must've been really drunk last night, right? Because I can't remember a thing but I feel sort of nauseous and my stomach sort of hurts so I figured I must have had my stomach pumped, right?"

"Oh." Heather said with a small nod, "no, no, Louis, you didn't have to have your stomach pumped, don't worry. The doctor will explain everything, love, and I'm going to go give your Mum a call."

Louis nodded slowly, even more confused now than he had been before. Why did she sound so surprised? And why did she look so worried? And if he hadn't needed to have his stomach pumped then why on Earth was he in the hospital?

Nothing about this sounded good.

\---------

Louis was just starting to drift again when the door opened for a second time.

"Mr. Tomlinson!" A man's voice greeted - loud and cheerful and unfamiliar - he smiled and went straight for the clipboard hanging off Louis' bed. He gave it a cursory glance before looking back up to Louis, "how're we feeling this evening?" He was tall and tan with broad shoulders and a slim waist. Louis couldn't help but think he looked more like an athlete than a doctor, despite his white lab coat. A doctor with particularly well-styled hair.

"Bit sleepy to be honest." Louis mumbled. He wasn't anywhere near awake enough to deal with the pep in this guy's step - especially not when the pain in his side had gotten just a little bit worse.

"Ah, well, you can get some rest in just a few minutes alright? We've got to have a little chat first." The doctor said.

Were doctors usually this informal? His pediatricion certainly hadn't been. Granted his pediatricion had also been old enough for Louis to question whether or not he should still be practicing medicine.

"My name is Michael Wheaton," The doctor said as he pulled a chair up right next to Louis' bed and plopped down into it, "you can call me Dr. Wheaton or Dr. Michael or just Michael or Mike or whatever you like. Whatever you're most comfortable with, alright?"

"Alright.." Louis said slowly.

Dr. Wheaton nodded and relaxed back into his seat. "Your Mum is on her way," He said conversationally, "she said she should be here in about an hour or two, oh and did I hear the nurse say you were worried about your Mum being cross with you?"

"Well, yeah, I thought ehm, I thought I'd had my stomach pumped last night?" Louis said, and he didn't sound too sure of himself because in all honesty he really wasn't anymore.

"I certainly didn't order that procedure." Dr. Wheaton said with an easy chuckle.

"Right.." Louis murmured. He didn't understand what was going on. Nothing about this situation seemed real. "Why am I hear then?"

Dr. Wheaton's expression changed drastically at that. It was only for a short second, but there was no mistaking the way his smile faultered and his fingers tensed where they were clasped together in his lap. He leaned forward a bit in his chair and rather than answer Louis' question he responded with one of his own. "Louis did I hear correctly that you told Nurse Heather that you're eighteen years old?" He asked.

"Ehm, yes?" Louis said slowly, his head nodding along just as slow.

"And you told her that the year is 2010?" Dr. Wheaton pressed.

Louis nodded once again, "yes."

"And you believe all of this to be true?"

"Yes."

Dr. Wheaton sighed.

"Am- am I wrong?" Louis asked, and even he could hear the slight hint of nervousness in his voice.

"Louis I need you to take some deep breaths for me, alright?" Dr. Wheaton said calmly.

Louis was quickly becoming far from calm though. Was he wrong? Was it not  2010? Was he not 18? And why did everyone keep reminding him to breathe?! He was eighteen years old (maybe)! He could remember to breathe on his own thank you very much.

"Louis, the date today is July 14, 2013." Dr. Wheaton said, "you're currently twenty-one years old."

Louis' eyes went wide. Twenty-one?  _Twenty-one?!_ He couldn't possibly be twenty-one! He couldn't. Last thing he knew it was, what, March? Yeah, March 2010. That sounded about right. Wait, July 14, 2013? That meant.. "Have I been here for  _three years_?!" He asked quickly.

Dr. Wheaton chuckled at that, but it didn't sound quite as genuine or care-free as before.

"I can't be twenty-one." Louis continued before the doctor had a chance to say anything, "I can't be. I'm eighteen years old and it's 2010 and for all I know you're not even a doctor."

"Louis I know this is difficult to accept, but we'll work through it together, alright?" Dr. Wheaton said, still calm as ever.

Louis, on the other hand, felt like he was drowning. Maybe he did need someone to remind him to breathe after all. Twenty-one?  _Twenty-one?_  Just the idea of it seemed absolutely absurd. He couldn't be twenty-one, could he?

"To answer your first question, no, you haven't been here for three years." Dr. Wheaton said softly, "it's been more like three weeks, just a day or two over three weeks actually."

"Three weeks." Louis repeated softly, more to himself than to the doctor.

"And before you ask, yes, you've had plenty of friends and family by your side and they've all been very worried about you." Dr. Wheaton said, "actually, I was quite impressed, you're a very popular man Mr. Tomlinson."

"Why do you say that?" Louis asked. He couldn't imagine there were really all that many people who had come to visit him. His mum and his sisters, definitely, and probably Stan. Maybe a few of his friends from school but other than that?

Dr. Wheaton smiled, "you've been here three weeks and in all that time you haven't been alone once."

"I was alone when I woke up." Louis pointed out and then, because he wasn't really certain about anything at the moment, he added, "wasn't I?"

"You were, but a lovely lady by the name of Lou Teasdale was just downstairs getting herself a cup of tea in the cafeteria." Dr. Wheaton said, "the nurse asked her to wait outside."

Louis sighed and shook his head, "I don't know anyone by that name."

"Well she certainly seems to know you." Dr. Wheaton said with that same calm voice and reassuring smile. It was sort of enfuriating, actually, just how calm he was about all of this.

Louis sighed again and rubbed at his eyes. As fast as his mind was racing, he still sort of felt like he could pass out and sleep for a few days at the moment. It was actually a really disorienting sensation. At the very least, he needed to know one more thing: "what happened to me?" He asked nervously.

 

**ORIGINAL CHAPTER THREE**

 

Louis had only been awake for about seven hours now and already he was exhausted. He knew a whole lot more than he had when he woke up though.

He knew that he was 21 years old. He knew he was in a band called One Direction with four other lads, all about his age but still younger. From what he could tell they were fairly successful. He also knew, even before his mum brought it up (it was evident in the way she spoke about certain things), that he had moved out of the house and was now living on his own.. sort of. Apparently he lived in a 'complex' with four of his 'best mates' - none of whom were Stan.

Jay assured him that he and Stan were still friends, but they weren't quite as close as they used to be what with the distance and their busy schedules and all. It was still a strange thought that he wasn't living at home or in a dorm room at uni with Stan. That had been their plan ever since they started highschool. Sure Louis had gone through a few stages were he was convinced he would be an actor or a singer or even a footie star, but there was never much weight behind those dreams of grandure. 

Actually getting the chance to be part of a band, though? That thought never even crossed his mind. (Okay, maybe it did, but Louis never owned up to it because he never thought it was an actual possibility).

Apparently now instead of a dorm room with Stan, Louis had a flat with a lad name Harry. No, sorry, his _bandmate_ Harry. The guy seemed nice enough - he was tall and tattoed (which Louis was still sort of partial to despite his Mum's reassurance that he really did in fact love tattoos now - and imagine his disappointment when, at his Mum's urging, he rolled up the sleeve of his hospital gown to find that he had several of his own) with curly hair and an exceptionally bright smile. There were a whole slew of pictures of Harry on his Mum's phone, and she showed Louis most of them. Some of them she skipped past as soon as they popped up. That, paired with the way she talked about him like he put the sun in the sky, was enough to make Louis wonder if there might be a little something more than a normal flatmate-parent relationship in the works, but Louis didn't dare ask. What was he even supposed to say? Nothing. There was nothing he could say. So he didn't ask. _  
_

Instead he focused on the rest of the band. Liam sounded nice enough. In the older pictures - the ones were Louis still recognized himself - he could hardly tell the difference between Liam and Harry. Niall sounded nice too. Loud, but nice. Loud seemed to be his defining characteristic though. It was really the only word his Mum used to describe him. _"He's nice,"_ she said,  _"and loud, and he's got a bit of a mouth on him sometimes but he's always in a great mood. He's real funny too, and loud, and that's really all I've got, love. He certainly keeps you on your toes."_

Jay didn't seem to know all that much about Zayn. She said he was pretty quiet and the few times he'd been to the house in Doncaster he mostly kept to himself, though she did say she could always hear the two of them 'giggling' in his room after the rest of the family went to bed.  _"You're always talking about the pranks the two of you pull together in interviews, even called him your partner in crime."_  Jay explained. Good, so even at twenty-one he was still pulling pranks whenever he could.

Louis was incredibly impressed by her patience. She never brushed off any of his questions, not even when he asked if he was "really in a band?! Like a proper studio-recording, world-touring band?!" for the fourth time or when he made her play 'What Makes You Beautiful' on her phone for the eighteenth.

The nurse came in periodically to check on him and, true to her word, she brought him some medication to deal with the pain from the surgery he apparently had - something about glass embedded in his side and being dangerously close to some internal organs? Or had the issue with his organs been from the impact, not the glass? Louis decided he didn't actually want to know almost immediately after the nurse started talking so he just nodded along politely without listening to a word she said.

What he did want to hear about was how everything was back home. Sure he'd gotten a bit caught up in the news that he'd somehow become a world-famous popstar over the past three years, but that didn't mean he stopped caring about his family and his friends, right?

Jay assured him that he didn't, that he still phoned home as often as he could and even with his crazy schedule he never forgot anyone's birthday. She promised that the girls were good and that they still loved him more than ever. He barely recognized them in the pictures she showed him on her phone. Lottie looked like a proper little Lady and the twins were hardly the children he remembered.

Jay looked a whole lot different too. She looked.. old. Or well, maybe not old exactly, but definitely older. The worry lines on her forehead were deeper than he remembered, as were the laugh lines by her eyes (which she had been cruel enough to pass on to him). She seemed tanner too, and her hair was longer and darker. She looked good, but she also looked tired.

Louis figured that was probably at least a little bit his fault. Even if she was used to having her baby so far from home 90% of the time he knew that there was no way she wasn't still worried sick. Especially not these past few weeks. Plus, the hospital called her at 5:30 this morning and then she drove three hours from Doncaster to London and sat through hours upon hours of questioning.

It wasn't until Louis was practically falling asleep while still speaking that Jay suggested he get some rest. "I'll still be here when you wake up, love, you can ask some more questions then."

"One more question." Louis mumbled through a yawn.

"Alright, one more." Jay agreed, "but then you've got to get some sleep."

Louis nodded his own agreement to that. "Why did Hannah and I break up?" He asked.

Jay looked a bit taken aback. "How did you know you and Hannah broke up?" She asked, "I don't think I mentioned that."

"You didn't," Louis said with a small shake of his head, "you didn't mention her at all actualy, which is why I sort of just guessed that we must have broken up. Probably a while ago, right?"

"Oh, sweetheart." Jay murmured sympathetically. She looked sad, heartbroken even. Had their breakup really been that terrible? No, it couldn't have been. Right? Jay smiled softly and shook her head, "you always were smarter than you let on."

"Mum please." Louis said, admittedly a bit impatient.

He never really thought he and Hannah would last forever. They were far too young and Louis was too flirty and Hannah was.. well, quite frankly Hannah was perfect. She was literally the perfect girlfriend - everything Louis could ever ask for and more - and yet she still wasn't _the one_. He cared about her more than anything, even loved her in a way, but it wasn't the right way. It wasn't the way he wanted to love the person he was going to spend the rest of his life with.

Jay sighed again and gave his hand a soft squeeze, "alright, love, I think it's time you get some rest. We'll talk about this when you wake up."

"I didn't cheat on her or anything, did I?" Louis asked.

"No, no you didn't cheat on her Louis. You might be a big shot celebrity now but you're still my same old BooBear." Jay said with a soft smile.

Louis groaned, " _Muuum_ , you stopped calling me that when I was like eight!"

"I know love." Jay murmured. She pushed herself up out of her chair to place a soft kiss to his forehead before motioning towards the door, "I'm going to go make a few phonecalls, you get some rest."

Louis could only nod in response. He still had about a million questions to ask (even more now that there was apparently some big secret about the end of his relationship), but he knew they would have to wait.

He was barely awake long enough to hear the door start to close before he started to drift.

\---------

 When Louis woke up again the room was dark except for the bit of sunlight peaking in through the blinds, and Louis was alone. He knew he wasn't actually alone. His Mum was bound to be somewhere nearby and he honestly couldn't blame her for wanting to get out of the boring hospital room he was stuck in.

It didn't take long for the door to ease open again and, as happy as he was to his see his Mum, he was even happier to see the nurse walk in behind her with the little plastic pill cup.

"How're we feeling this afternoon?" She asked as the door swung shut behind her.

"Pretty good. My side hurts a bit but other than that I feel good as new." Louis said.

"That's good! Definitely good." The nurse said, "where are we at on that pain scale, same as before? Better? Worse?"

Louis didn't even have to think about it, it was worse. It was much worse. "S'not too bad." He lied.

"Like a five?" She asked.

Louis nodded once, then shook his head, then nodded again, "yeah, 4.5 maybe? Is that allowed?"

The nurse laughed and nodded, "that's definitely allowed." She passed him the pill cup as well as a cup of water that she got from the sink and proceeded to check a few things on the machines while Louis swallowed down the two pills in the cup.

She asked him a few more of the 'silly questions' off a clipboard and seemed pleased when Louis got almost all of them right. 

"If things go well for the next few days I'd say you could start looking to transfer to a rehab facility by the end of the week." The nurse said, and while Louis didn't quite understand what that meant he could tell that his Mum looked quite happy to hear that. "Alright well, you know how to find me if you need me. I'm going to go find you some rehab options and I'll let you talk to your guests." She said before slipping out of the room.

"Guests?" Louis asked. He had guests? "Are the girls here? Wait can Lottie  _drive_?!"

Jay chuckled and shook her head, "no no, she's still a few years out from driving don't worry. Actually your friends, the ones I told you about yesterday-"

"Yesterday?" Louis echoed, "how long was I asleep for?"

"A long time, love." Jay murmured, "long enough for me to go back to yours and sleep in a real bed instead of a hospital chair. I took a shower, and skyped the girls and Harry made me breakfast. He's quite the cook you know."

"Is he?" Louis murmured absently.

Suddenly all he could think of was the growing possibility that his Mum was shagging his flatmate. It certainly didn't sound like something his Mum would do - definitely didn't sound like something he would ever let her do. The more she talked about him though the more Louis thought that there just might be something else going on. There had to be. It's not like Harry's an old family friend, he was just some guy Louis met three years ago and agreed to live with because neither of them wanted to live alone and they were kind of sort of friends. How did that suddenly lead to Harry making his Mum breafkast?

Louis sort of wanted to ask, but he didn't. There was still so much he didn't know and if there really was something going on she was bound to tell him eventually. If she wanted to wait for the right moment then Louis could wait.

"He is, works out well for you since your cooking abilities haven't gotten any better since you moved out." Jay teased.

"Well if I'm living with a chef I don't see any reason to learn how to cook." Louis pointed out.

Jay laughed and nodded, "excellent point my dear."

"Clearly I pick my flatmates wisely." Louis chuckled.

"You picked the perfect flatmate," Jay agreed, "and he just so happens to be waiting in the hallway."

Louis stared at here. Harry was here? In the building?

"All of the boys are here actually." Jay continued as she reached out to give Louis' hand a soft squeeze, "I told them you might not feel up to seeing them today, but they've been awfully worried about you, Louis."

"They want to see me?" He asked slowly. It was one thing to know all these people existed, but it was something else entirely to have to meet them. What was he supposed to say to them? For all he knew he was going to say something he'd already said a million times, probably something they were all tired of hearing. Or better yet he'd bring up something they had a huge fight about and ruin everything before he even had a chance to figure out who's who.

Jay smiled softly, "they do. They'll also understand if you're not up to it though." She promised.

Louis shook his head, "no, no it's fine. They came all this way to see me, right? The least I can do is let them know I'm alright."

"My brave little boy." Jay murmured.

Louis rolled his eyes at that but he couldn't stop the small smile that came with it. "'m not five anymore, Mum."

"Maybe not, but you still have a hard time admitting when you're sick." She pointed out. Louis couldn't argue that so Jay smiled and stood from her chair.

"Wait, Mum, they don't expect- I mean, they know I can't remember anything, right?"

"They don't expect anything from you love" 

Louis nodded, "alright."

Jay smiled sympathetically and nodded once again before saying she would "be right back" and slipping out of the room.

Louis was nervous. Really and truly nervous. These people all knew him so well. From the way his Mum described them all it almost sounded like they knew him better than he knew himself. They probably did now actually since Louis could hardly recognize himself in the picture's his Mum showed him.

What if he wasn't who they wanted him to be though? He might have been in the body of a tattoed twenty-one year old pop star but he still had the heart and soul of an eighteen year who didn't have a plan for the rest of his day let alone the rest of his life. What if they didn't like this Louis? What was he supposed to do then?

Apparently it was time to find out, because just like that the door flew open and in burst an all too enthusiastic blonde. "Tommooo!" He hollered.

Niall.

Louis recognized him instantly. He looked a bit different here than in the photos his Mum showed him, but there was no mistaking the Irish accent. "Niall!" He greated with as much enthusiasm as he could.

Niall grinned, "see lads? Told ya he could never forget me. I'm unforgetable." He winked at Louis.

Louis couldn't destinguish between the next three people. It wasn't so much that they looked alike, but rather that they didn't look anything like the pictures his Mum had showed him. He knew the one with curly hair had to be either Liam or Harry, which meant that one of the two with short hair had to be Zayn.

He tried to think back to the pictures for a moment before pointing to the one with the darkest hair, "Zayn, right?" He asked.

Zayn looked relieved, he smiled and nodded, "two for two mate, you're on a roll."

Unfortunately Louis' roll was probably going to end right then and there. He could stare at the two unnamed hopeful faces all day but figuring out which one was Liam and which one was Harry, it seemed pretty impossible. In the end he just decided to point to the one on the right and guess "Harry?"

The guy he pointed to didn't look all that offended, but the other one, the one with the curly hair, looked absolutely devistated.

"I messed up didn't I.." He said slowly.

The guy Louis pointed to shook his head, "two out of four isn't bad."

"So  _Liam_ and Harry?" Louis ammended as he pointed first to not-Harry and then to the lad with the curly hair.

"Bingo!" Niall hollered from where he sat in the seat to the left of Louis' bed.

Loud was definitely a good word to describe Niall. Louis liked him already.

"Your Mum says you're feeling a lot better, yeah?" Zayn asked as he plopped into one of the chairs underneath the window to the right of Louis' bed. Apparently that was too far away though, because before he even finshed sitting down he stood up again and pulled the chair closer to the bed. Liam pulled one of the other chairs up next to Zayn's and settled into it. Harry lingered in the doorway.

"Yeah definitely," Louis said with a quick nod, "I guess anything is better than unconscious though, right?"

Zayn paled a bit but he held his smile and nodded, "definitely."

Everything seemed a bit tense between them. They were all nice enough but the conversation was choppy and slow and Louis could tell their smiles were at least a little bit forced.

It made Louis feel like he was disapointing them all.

No, not all of them. He felt like he was disappointing Harry. The guy could hardly look at him, and when he did his smile didn't get anywhere near his eyes. He looked sad and Louis didn't have a clue how to cheer him up.

 

**ORIGINAL CHAPTER FOUR**

 

Louis was fairly certain that he met more people the first week that he was awake than he had in his entire life.

It was enough to make his head spin. People would come and they would go and Louis could hardly keep them all straight.

It started with his bandmates who seemed to be around more often than not. From what his Mum had said about them all that really wasn't anything new though. What was surprising however, was just how reluctant they were to leave - especially after Jay went back to Doncaster to get back to the girls and to work.

He didn't mind so much when it was Niall or Zayn. Actually, he sort of really loved having the two of them around. Niall was loud (that was still the best word to describe him) and charismatic and he was always,  _always_ up for a laugh. He seemed to find Louis hilarious, which Louis definitely liked. Zayn was pretty much the exact opposite of Niall. Where Niall was boisterous and loud Zayn was quiet and reserved and smart. Louis was sure Zayn was one of the smartest people he'd ever met. He wasn't chock full of jokes the way Niall was, but he could always put a smile on Louis' face.

More importantly though, they never tiptoed around Louis. If either of them wanted to say something they almost always said it and they weren't afraid to treat Louis like  _Louis_ rather than the shell of a person everybody else seemed to think he was.

Liam wasn't so bad either. He was nice and he always seemed to have plenty of stories to tell. Louis decided he liked Liam about 87% of the time. The only time he didn't really like Liam all that much was when they were stuck in a room alone together. Whenever they were alone Liam turned into a fluffy little apologetic mess. He even started to cry once and Louis just couldn't take that. According to Liam they spent the first few months of their friendship as mortal enemies (Liam's phrasing, not his).  _"We were like cats and dogs,"_ Liam said, _"nobody ever wanted to leave us alone in a room together because they thought we might go at it."_ Louis couldn't believe that either, but he sort of wished people would stop leaving them alone now so Liam would stop apologizing over and over again for something Louis couldn't even remember (which he told Liam after about the millionth apology, but Liam didn't listen).

The only person Louis didn't like was Harry. It was odd really, because his Mum had spoken so highly of him. She made it sound like he was closer with Harry than anyone, that after only three years of knowing each other Harry had basically become an extension of himself. As it turned out, Louis felt more uncomfortable around Harry than anyone he had ever met in his entire life. 

Every now and then Louis would catch a glimpse of something promising - a bit of banter that left Louis grinning ear to ear or a moment when Harry seemed to know exactly what Louis needed before Louis even knew it - those moments were always fleeting though, and as soon as they passed Harry would retract so far back into himself that he could barely even function. How could he possibly live with a guy who couldn't even look him in the eye most of the time?

He wanted to ask, really he did, but he seemed like he never got a chance to. Every time he was alone with either Niall or Zayn, who at the moment were the only people he really felt like he could ask, somebody seemed to come along and get in the way.

First there was Paul, the head of One Direction's security team. _Team_ as in not just one person but a whole bunch of people, because apparently there were enough fans out there who wanted a piece of them that they needed a whole freaking team of people around at all times. Paul was nice and he was understanding and he was always incredibly apologetic when he showed up to whisk one (or all) of Louis' bandmates away to some unknown location for some unknown event. Louis was given pretty much no information about anything regarding the band and while everyone else seemed to think it was for his own good, it left him impossibly curious as to just what was going on in the world of One Direction.

The next time Louis tried to bring it up he was interrupted by Lou Teasdale - One Direction's stylist apparently. She brought the most adorable little girl with her who managed to steal his attention for a full hour and a half. Louis apologized profusely to Lou for not seeing her when he first woke up (once he realized that she was actually the person who had been there at the time), but Lou wouldn't hear any of it. Louis decided he quite liked her as well.

After that it was a string of celebrities, most of whom Louis had never heard of. Ed Sheeran seemed nice but he was only there for about ten minutes before he had to leave again so Louis didn't really get a chance to talk to him. Nick Grimshaw (one of the few celebrities Louis had actually heard of) came to visit for an hour or two as well. He seemed nice enough, but Louis got the sense that he was there to visit Harry more than anything else. Louis figured it was probably for the best since according to both Nick and Harry, Louis and Nick pretty much hated each other.

Louis really liked Cher Lloyd though. From what he could tell he hadn't seen her in a while, but in a way that was almost better because her memories were a whole lot closer to his own than everybody else's were. She asked about his sisters and about Stan and even mentioned Hannah once. Louis didn't exactly know what to say to that, because he never did get another chance to ask his Mum about what happened. He added it to his list of things to ask Niall and/or Zayn about next time he got a chance. 

That chance didn't come until nearly two and a half weeks after Louis woke up, when Zayn came to visit him at the rehab facility. The place required all new patients follow an intensive itinerary for the first week of their stay. Louis didn't quite like that he had to go the whole first week without being able to have any visitors at all, especially since he still hadn't had a chance to see any of his sisters yet, but the rehab facility came highly recommended from the hospital and they boasted an impressive 82% success rate, so he really couldn't say no.

Unfortunately, after a week of physical therapy and 'mental therapy' (which as it turned out was actually just a series of meetings with a therapist who specialized in memory recovery), Louis was still as clueless as ever. He was, however, feeling about a million times better than he had when he left the hospital. Apparently he looked better too, because it was the first thing Zayn commented on when he walked into the room.

"You make it sound like I was  _dying_ or something." Louis teased in response.

He could see the quick flicker of emotion in Zayn's eyes and he knew, even before he said it he knew, that that comment might hit just a little too close to home. Zayn seemed to brush it off pretty quickly though. "You got a pretty nice place here, Tommo." He said.

"It's better than the hospital, that's for sure." Louis agreed. His room in the rehab facility was infinitely better than his room at the hospital. No more pristine white walls or stiff white sheets. The new room was bigger, with light blue walls and a bigger bed (without the annoying hospital guard rails). It came with a real duvet and a little wooden nightstand and some real clothes in the closet. Supposedly they were his clothes but for all Louis knew they were actually a few things the person before him left behind. Probably somebody with much better taste and much more money (because he still couldn't quite wrap his amnesia-ridden mind around the fact that he was a multi-millionaire in a world famous boy band). There was even a TV in the room that he was allowed to use from time to time. It wasn't home, but it was definitely a little bit closer.

"Anybody else come to visit you yet?" Zayn asked.

Louis shook his head, "nope, nobody else loves me."

"Nope, nobody." Zayn agreed without missing a beat. Louis stuck his tongue out at him in response but Zayn just laughed and shook his head, "you're ridiculous."

"You still love me." Louis chirped.

Zayn nodded, "I do."

It was amazing, really, how quickly Louis seemed to fall into sync with Zayn. He couldn't remember ever falling into a friendship so easily with anyone. He figured the three years of friendship he couldn't remember probably helped. Even if he didn't know Zayn, Zayn clearly knew him.

Then again, so did the rest of the band, right? And out of the three of them Niall was the only one who got anywhere near Zayn's level.

"I met our manager, did he tell you?" Louis asked as he leaned back against the headboard of his bed and crossed his legs like a kindergartner.

Zayn looked a bit surprised, "Mr. Raand? He was here?"

"Mhmm," Louis hummed with a nod, "or well, he came to the hospital before they moved me here. He seemed pretty great."

"You've got to be kidding me." Zayn said flatly, "Victor Raand? Tall guy, salt and pepper hair? His nose sort of looks like it might actually be a beak?"

Louis laughed and nodded, "that's the one."

"And you  _like_ him?"

"You don't?"

" _You_ don't." Zayn corrected, "or well, you didn't. You hated him."

Louis groaned, "geez, do I hate everyone? First Liam, then that Nick guy, now Victor? Is there anyone I actually like?"

"Me,"

"Wrong."

"Right."

Louis rolled his eyes but nodded, "right." He agreed, "and my Mum said I like Niall and Liam and Harry too."

"You do," Zayn comfirmed, "a whole lot actually."

Louis sucked his bottom lip in and let his teeth play over it for a moment before shaking his head - not a lot, but enough that he knew Zayn could see it.

"You don't?" He asked, and now he looked worried, "who don't you like?"

Louis shook his head and started to pull his knees up to his chest. He had to stop halfway through the motion though, one hand flying to the stitches on his side as he bit down hard on his lower lip. "That hurt." He grumbled.

"I can tell." Zayn murmured. He settled down on the bed, careful not to jostle Louis too much, and leaned back against the headboard just the way Louis had been a few moments ago. "You alright?" He asked as he glanced over.

Louis nodded, "yeah, yeah, 'm fine."

Zayn rolled his eyes and started to stand again, "I'll go get the nurse."

"No-" Louis chirped, he reached out and grabbed Zayn's arm to stop him from going anywhere, "just sit, yeah? I'm alright."

"Fine, but no more lying to me, got it?" Zayn said seriously.

"Ay-ay cap'n." Louis teased, even saluted Zayn with the hand that wasn't holding his side.

Zayn rolled his eyes once again and gave Louis' shoulder a soft shove, "hey 'm serious Lou," He said, "you forget that I can read you like a book."

"Can not!"

"Can too!"

"Fine, what else have I lied about then?"

Zayn considered for a moment before shaking his head, "nothing."

"You're wrong."

"You're lying." Zayn said, and the way Louis' smug little smile dropped right off his face was all the confirmation Zayn needed. "You're also avoiding the question." He pointed out.

Louis frowned, "how did you do that? Can you read my mind or something?"

"Or something," Zayn answered, "now c'mon, who don't you like?"

"You can't tell him." Louis said quickly, and Zayn nodded his agreement - even pinky promised when Louis held out his pinky (something Louis didn't take lightly) - "alright, alright, I just, it's not that I don't like him exactly, it's just that.. well I don't think he likes me all that much, y'know?"

Zayn shook his head, "no, Lou, I don't know. Everybody loves you."

"Not Harry." Louis said flatly.

Zayn looked pretty taken aback by that, to the point where he even leaned away from Louis just a bit to stare at him. "You're joking, right?" He asked.

"Why would I be joking?" Louis asked.

"Because - because Harry could never hate you. That's actually the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard." Zayn said without a second thought, "why would you even think that?"

Louis shrugged and looked down at his hands where they were joined in his lap, his thumbs twisting absently around each other over and over again, "I dunno." He mumbled, "nevermind, it's stupid."

He felt more than sort of stupid now. He could feel Zayn looking at him and, while normally he didn't mind, right now it really wasn't helping anything. Apparently Zayn could tell, because without a word he leaned closer and draped an arm over Louis' shoulders to pull him in to his side. "S'not stupid, Lou, it's just surprising is all." He said softly.

"You really can read my mind, can't you." Louis joked.

Zayn just nodded, "I can, and I'm also not going to let you avoid the subject."

"Fine." Louis groaned. He started to sit up again but Zayn held him in place with a gentle but firm grip. Louis just accepted it and slumped into Zayn's side. "I guess it's just 'cuz he never really says much to me, like he'll talk to you guys and he talked to Grimmy and even that Ed guy, but he can barely even look at me, y'know? And then sometimes he'll be nice or funny or just.. I don't know, weirdly perfect I guess? Like the sort of person I'd want to be friends with. But then he just goes right back to ignoring me again afterwards."

"So you think he doesn't like you because he's quiet?" Zayn asked slowly.

Louis shook his head, "no it's more that.. you know how you and Niall and Liam are always excited to come and see me? You're always smiling and happy and stuff and Harry.. he just sort of stands there and looks miserable and ignores me."

Zayn sighed and nodded, "I guess I could see that."

It was hardly a question in Louis' mind. Harry spent more time staring at the floor than anyone Louis had ever met. He hardly ever had more than a few words to say at a time and they were never very friendly ones, just simple pleasantries and curt answers to direct questions. Who in their right mind would believe somebody like that to be their best friend?

"I'm not allowed to say much," Zayn continued, his voice softer and smoother, "but give him time, yeah? He's got more to lose than the rest of us."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Louis asked. Seriously, what could Zayn possibly be getting at? They were all friends, weren't they? Sure he was supposedly closer with Harry but what did that matter? Besides if he had that most to lose then shouldn't he be the happiest to see that Louis was okay?

Zayn sighed once more, "Louis, I-"

"Louis Tomlinson." A voice said, too cheery to be sincere as the door swung open. In it's wake stood a man Louis had met only once before, though he hardly looked like the man Louis had met.

"Victor?" Louis greeted skeptically as he eyed the pristine suit, perfectly tailored to make the man within look daunting as ever. He strolled in like he owned the place with a security guard on his left and a stick-thin man on his right carrying a briefcase and a thick leather-bound book with his nose upturned so high Louis wondered how he could possibly see where he was going. A far cry from the man Louis had met just a week prior.

"Victor?" Zayn echoed in disbelief as his eyes darted to Louis then quickly back to the man in the doorway, "Mr. Raand, how are you?"

"Surprised to see you here, Mr. Malik," Victor said. Louis watched as his eyes trailed disapprovingly from Zayn, to the arm Louis was so comfortably nestled under, and back to Zayn. Just like that the arm was gone, pressed tight against Zayn's side. "And where, dare I ask, is Mr. Styles?"

"Who?" Louis questioned.

Victor's frown only deepened at that.

"He's not come by then?" Victor questioned.

"He's home, he'll be back in a day or two." Zayn piped up earning yet another glare from Victor.

A long silence followed and Louis waited with baited breath, wondering all the while how the pleasant, caring man he'd met in the hospital and the vulture-like monster before him could possibly be the same person. It felt like a small millenium passed before he seemed to come to a conclusion, eyes dead set on Zayn.

"In that case, this is your job." He said simply as the shorter man stepped forward and set the briefcase down on the end of the bed, "you've got a week to get through it. Louis, we're expediting your release, the doctor will sign the paper work on Friday which should give you two days to pack. We leave for the states on Monday."

"The states?" Louis echoed slowly, "the United States? America?"

"L.A. to be precise." Victor corrected, "we'll be doing a series of promotional interviews for the upcoming tour while you start working your way back to performance shape. Everything you need to know is in that briefcase. As far as the world is concerned you've hardly forgotten anything at all. I'll see you in one week." He paused and his eyes landed on Zayn once more, cold and piercing, "I'll be watching you, Mr. Malik."

With that Victor was gone.

The room seemed empty without him, vacant save for the furniture and the two boys staring absently at a briefcase. Truth be told Louis was nervous to open it. He knew it was bound to hold all the answers the questions everyone had been so narrowly avoiding lately, but he was starting to wonder if he really wanted to know. What if he didn't like what he found? What if, despite all of the wonderful things he'd heard, he didn't like who he'd become?

What then?

"Well?" Zayn murmured, nudging Louis ever so gently with the arm still stuck firmly to his side, "are you going to open it?"

Louis frowned, "do I have to?"

It was Zayn's turn to frown then, "why wouldn't you?"

Louis shrugged, "what if I don't like what's in there? What happens if I open it and find out I don't want to be Louis from One Direction? What if I liked just plain old Louis better?"

"But what if you don't?" Zayn asked as he reached for the brief case.

It was just as daunting up close. Three whole years of his life in a glorified box.

"You don't have to open it, Lou," Zayn said softly, "but what do you have to lose if you don't?"

Louis sighed, "you'll stay?"

"As long as you'll have me."

 

**ORIGINAL CHAPTER FIVE**

 

As it turned out, Louis' entire life could be broken down into three things: a laptop, an iPod, and a manilla folder.

He picked up the laptop first, swayed by the sticky note that read "DO THIS FIRST" in surgically pristine handwriting. Another sticky note sat in the center of the screen and Louis peeled it off while he waited for the computer to boot up.

" _ACCOUNT: LTMBC, PASSWORD: PASSWORD_ " Louis read aloud, sparing a glance to Zayn once he finished, "real creative, aren't they."

Zayn chuckled, "they've never been known for their ingenuity."

Despite the instructions on the sticky note, Louis went ahead and clicked on the other account, the one depicted by a soccer ball labeled simply 'Louis'. After three failed attempts at the password he turned to Zayn for guidance, earning only an apologetic shake of the head in response.

"Sorry Lou, you've got to finish boot camp before I give you that." He said.

"Boot camp?" Louis repeated.

"Yeah," Zayn said, "memory boot camp. What did you think LTMBC stood for?"

Louis groaned and rolled his eyes, "fine, boot camp."

The computer account opened up without any trouble. There wasn't much to it really, a single text file on the desktop marked 'README' and an unnamed folder beside it. The background was what really caught Louis' attention. It was a picture of the five of them, One Direction, taken from behind in front of one of the biggest crowds Louis had ever seen in his entire life. He'd been to a few concerts in the eighteen years he could remember, sure, but never any that big.

"It's a great picture, isn't it?" Zayn cut in, his own eyes trapped on the screen as well.

"That's us?"

"That's us alright." Zayn confirmed, "first time we ever played Madison Square Garden."

Madison. Square. Garden. No way. Absolutely not. Never in his wildest dreams had Louis ever imagined something so incredible. And that was, that was only the first time? As in there were more?

"Incredible, isn't it?" Zayn asked.

Louis could only nod. He'd played Madison Square Garden, multiple times. Wow.

So maybe Louis from One Direction wasn't all that bad. How could he be? He was still Louis after all, right? Besides, world famous or not his Mum would never let him lose his head. She wouldn't. So he had to be an okay guy. With that notion to drive him Louis opened the text file.

It wasn't anything fancy, plain black lettering broken down into a few concise sentences:

 

_Louis -_

_The videos are in chronological order so watch them that way._

_Each is a compilation of footage from various sources so some of them do get quite lengthy._

_Please refrain from skipping the parts that you deem boring, there will be a quiz at the end._

_Cheers._

 

"Eloquent." Louis said flatly, earning another chuckle from Zayn.

"You're not exactly known to read everything thoroughly," Zayn said with a grin, "the less words the better."

Louis laughed, "what, did you write this?"

"Nah, but I helped make the videos. They're good, Lou. Even if they don't help you remember they'll give you a lot of insight into your life." Zayn said.

Louis rolled his eyes, "never would've guessed I'd need a video to give me insight in to my own life."

Nevertheless Louis closed out of the document and opened the folder. Inside were five videos, each titled with what Louis assumed must be a section of his life: X-Factor, X-Factor Tour, Up All Night Tour, Take Me Home Tour, and finally This Is Us.

"We tried to make a Midnight Memories video too," Zayn said as the X-Factor video loaded, "We didn't really have much to put in it though since the album's not even released yet so we figured it wouldn't be too hard to catch up without it."

"Catch up on my own life." Louis deadpanned.

Zayn chuckled but Louis silenced him with a jab to the ribs, "shh, the Louis Tomlinson movie is about to begin."

It started out predictably enough given the title of the first video. Louis recognized the music before the image even finished fading in and just like that he was staring at a younger version of himself (one that he actually recognized) introducing himself. He looked nervous as hell, frazzled in a way that only he himself could understand. The clip was short and all of a sudden he was staring at himself on the x-factor stage - absolutely butchering Hey There Delilah.

"How the hell did I get through?" He asked, his own voice wailing away in the background.

Zayn shrugged, "you've been wondering that ever since."

To his surprise he got three yes's from the judges, to which he couldn't help but say, "tone deaf, the lot of them." And then just like that the video was moving on. This time it was Niall introducing himself. He looked younger than any of the pictures his Mum had shown him but it was still the same old Niall. Liam came next, belting out a song in a voice that hardly sounded like it belonged to him. No surprise that he got through then. Harry's audition went much the same, the only surprising thing about it was Harry himself. The boy in the video was cheeky, adorable in a way Louis couldn't believe. Nothing at all like the stoic punk rocker who'd spent so much time silent in his hospital room the past few weeks.

"Cute, isn't he?" Zayn asked, and had he been watching Louis the whole time? Because Louis had definitely been staring, no question about it.

"I'm not entirely convinced he's the real Harry." Louis said, "I bet he gets swapped out for somebody older and angrier in a few videos."

Zayn laughed at that, but the glint of sadness in it wasn't lost on Louis.

But then baby Zayn walked on stage and any weird sort of message Louis might have pulled from such a hollow sound was lost to the sight infront of him. "That's _you_?" He asked in disbelief, "no way is that you! You're barely even speaking English! Where are you from mate?"

The real Zayn smirked as baby Zayn (the only thing Louis could see fit to call him) informed the judges that he was from Bradford.

"You're actually adorable."

"Oh shut it." Zayn grumbled.

"Definitely cuter than I was at that age." Louis continued earning a light shove from Zayn.

"Just watch the film."

Baby Zayn made it through as well and just like that all five members of One Direction were moving on. The boot camp videos were fun, watching himself try to dance was hilarious, and then all of a sudden he was crying, being sent home. They all were.

"What's this rubbish?" He asked as he paused the video, "how are we not even a quarter of the way through this one and we're already being kicked off the show? Do I really have to watch the whole season when we didn't even get passed boot camp?! We haven't even spoken!"

Zayn rolled his eyes, though it was fond, put a finger to his lips, and hit the play button.

It didn't take long for Louis to understand. Maybe forgetting was a good thing, at least now he couldn't remember the temporary heartbreak of being kicked off the show.

But then, out of nowhere, he wasn't celebrating by himself anymore. Psuedo-Harry (the cheeky, adorable, fun-loving one who only existed inside his computer) ran across the stage and... and jumped into his arms? Did they even know each other? Not that he himself had ever been a very reserved person but Harry? He couldn't for the life of him imagine Harry running across anything to jump into his arms, not when he could barely bring himself to raise his eyes far enough to meet Louis'.

"Y'know what's funny?" Zayn asked slowly, tentatively, and hey when did he pause the video? How long had he been staring at himself holding Harry up in the air? Judging by the expression on Zayn's face it had been more than a few seconds. "That wasn't even the first time you met. Not really."

"It wasn't?"

Zayn shook his head, "you met the day of auditions, in the toilets no less."

"In the.."

"Yeah, the toilets. You even took a picture together because you were so sure he was going to be famous some day."

" _I_ was sure?" Louis asked skeptically, "I'd never even met him before."

Zayn shrugged, "destiny, mate, it works in some weird ways."

Destiny? He wanted to, but Louis didn't get a chance to question that last statement because Zayn hit the play button again. They watched as the judges explained what would happen next and then as each of them one by one gave a teary-eyed statement about how great it was to be put through. It was incredible to watch, honestly, but Louis couldn't bring himself to connect to it. It felt like a movie of someone else's life, five someone elses' he'd never met before.

Then the video changed. It was grainy and unsteady, nothing more than a few pixels of darkness. The camera wobbled just a bit as the figure stepped away from it and then became clear, Harry. He settled in to the center of the frame between Louis and Niall, Zayn and Liam both standing above them and looking giddy as ever.

" _Hello!_ " Louis screamed, loud enough for Harry to giggle and lean away, make a big show of blocking his ears.

The video continued, " _we_ ", " _are_ ", " _One_ ," " _Direction!_ " as one by one the boys in the video called out a single word. For a moment they all stayed frozen, smiling bright as ever at the camera. Then all at once they broke down into a fit of giggles.

They were all adorable, no question about it.

" _Alright, lads, here here!_ " Louis bellowed in his most authoritative tone earning yet another round of giggles from the rest of the band. He flung his arm around Harry's shoulders as the laughter subsided and grinned down at him, " _what do you say young Harold, still like the sound of that?_ "

Harry's answering grin was, well, it was like nothing Louis had ever seen before. Not directed at him anyway. He could feel Zayn's eyes on him again, careful and calculating, but he couldn't bring himself to look away from the stupidly adorable expression on Harry's face, not even to catch the flicker of a smile just a little too-bright he would have seen reflected on his own.

The video played on, something about putting the band name to an official vote. Harry's gaze would flicker around the room from time to time when he was called upon but other than that it stayed fixed on Louis, like he was the sun and the stars and the moon and all packaged into one. A real life reminder of everything he'd ever wanted.

" _You heard it here first, folks,_ " Louis' younger self said, his fingers now tapping out a rhythm where they sat on Harry's shoulder, " _as of today we are officially One Direction!_ "

The video cut out seconds later, ending Liam's inquiry as to whether or not they actually had to say the date in the video for it to be 'official'.

"That was only like a week or two after they put us in the band." Zayn's voice came from beside him, somber in a way Louis had yet to hear it, "we spent a week at home and then a week in Harry's step-dad's bungalow. It was pretty great."

"Two weeks? It looks like we've known each other for way longer."

"Felt that way too." Zayn said with a nod.

The official x-factor footage of their stay at the bungalow came next. They all looked so happy, like they had the world at their feet and nothing could ever go wrong. It was pretty incredible honestly.

One thing led to another and before long one of the nurses was coming in to tell them there were only 10 minutes until lights out as Simon told them he was " _going with his heart_ " and they were through Judges Houses.

Zayn left before the first live show and Louis turned off the laptop for the night.

It went untouched for the better part of the next day, mostly because during the day Louis was sent from one therapy to the next. A laptop holding the contents of life his hard to ignore though, it's a lot like pandora's box - once you open it you can't stop it.

Louis waited a whole ten minutes after visiting hours began before opening the laptop up without Zayn. He watched live performance after live performance, listened to more critiques than he particularly cared to hear (though he still hung on every word the judges said), and got some long awaited insight in to his friendships with some of the people he already met like Cher and Matt and Aiden. It was great, all of it, but it paled in comparison to the video diaries.

Week after week he watched his friendship with Harry grow. Their smiles got bigger and their heads dropped lower to hide them, a poorly kept secret but a secret nonetheless. By week five any and all space between them was lost forever. It was a lot like, well, a lot like watching himself fall in love actually. Or rather, watching someone else fall in love. It seemed like wherever he went Harry followed and, admittedly, wherever Harry went he followed too. They were like magnets, like planets stuck in their own gravity. Giddy little giggling planets that just couldn't seem to get enough of each other.

He watched a younger version of himself talk about Harry in twitcam after twitcam and got a glimpse of his perfectly wrapped birthday/Christmas present on one of Harry's twitcams. They'd tickle each other and tease each other and it seemed like they were always touching one way or another.

It was probably for the best that Zayn was late, because Louis re-watched those video diaries at least three times each.

He couldn't wrap his mind around it. Had they just gotten sick of eachother? Burned so bright at first that it just couldn't last? Sure they didn't show any signs of it yet, but there was still plenty of time for everything to fall apart.

Zayn came in about five minutes too late to watch them get voted off the show, just in time to watch their xtra factor interview in which little Louis' hands were replaced by Harry-seeking magnets. On the bright side he brought Chinese food so Louis could stare down into it from time to time and pretend he wasn't painfully aware of Zayn watching him all along.

It was just so strange, literally watching himself grow up. The interviews got longer and the crowds got larger and before long he was watching clips of live performances on their own sold out world tour. Of award shows and music videos and documentaries about their success. There were home videos too, filmed from cellphones and laptops. Zayn fell asleep around the time the band won their first Brit award and Louis drifted off to the sound of wild laughter and screaming fans as a teenage Louis and Zayn tried to film themselves running from a mass of fans in Australia during the Up All Night tour.

By the time he woke up again the video was long over and sunlight was starting to shine through the slits in the blinds. He opened one eye just far enough to get a peak at the clock. 7:00 AM on a Sunday morning meant one thing - sleep. For whatever reason the program offered them solace on Sundays despite it's lack of religious affiliation. There were games in the courtyard and trips off-site for those patients in long-term care and, most importantly, Louis didn't have to be at physical therapy by 8:00 AM.

He pulled the blankets up to his neck and turned his face down in to his pillow once more.

Except it wasn't his pillow, it was Zayn. Solid and surprisingly comfy. "I know you're awake." He murmured.

Almost more surprising than his presence (because why exactly hadn't the nurse asked him to leave?) was how calm Zayn seemed. Completely unperturbed by the fact that Louis was using him as a human body pillow. It didn't really shock him all that much him given how close they all seemed in the videos so far but that didn't stop him from wondering.

"It's rude to watch people sleep." He mumbled into Zayn's chest.

"It's also rude to sleep on people." Zayn pointed out, earning a grunt of mock annoyance from Louis.

"It's too early to talk about this."

"Still not a morning person I see." Zayn teased.

Louis ignored him.

"Harry came by earlier," Zayn continued without missing a beat, "brought some home made muffins for breakfast."

Louis frowned, "earlier? As in he was alive _before_ seven in the morning?"

"You got it, came by around 6:30."

"Devil spawn."

"Y'know sometimes I forget how charming you can be when you first wake up." Zayn deadpanned.

"I'll let you have an extra muffin if you stop talking." Louis offered.

Zayn didn't argue.

The laptop was open again when he woke up an hour later. The muffins had somehow made it from the table in the far corner to the night stand beside the bed and Zayn had half of one sitting on his stomach just above the laptop.

"Been watching my life without me?" Louis asked as he rubbed at his eyes. One glance at the screen told him the answer was no but he let Zayn say it anyways.

"Ready to keep going?" Zayn asked, "there's still a whole lot you're missing."

"Let me guess, I end up in rehab?" Louis asked.

Zayn's smile faltered for a moment but it didn't fall. "Just wait, you'll see."

They rewound the last video back a bit to re-watch the bits they slept through. For the most part it was pretty mundane. More interviewers asking the same old questions and more clips of the same concerts (although Louis did have to admire the band's flare for the dramatic and their lack of general boy-band ability). He was about ready to ask if they could skip to the next video when an interview caught him off guard.

"Wait," he said, "did they just ask about my girlfriend?"

Zayn rolled his eyes, "y'know if you'd just watch the video it'll answer all your questions."

"But I've had a girlfriend? I've gone and forgotten an entire relationship?" Louis asked in disbelief.

That seemed to catch Zayn off guard because he didn't answer for a long while. He just stared at Louis, confusion and sorrow, and pity? Was that pity he saw on Zayn's face?

"Nevermind, I'll just watch the video." He mumbled as he settled once more and hit play.

The screen filled with a series of images, five in a row of Louis with a beautiful brunette by his side. " _So tell me Louis,_ " the interviewer probed, " _who's the lucky lady?_ "

The Louis on the screen flushed and smiled down at his feet, " _her name is Eleanor, we've been seeing each other for a little while now._ "

The interviewer nodded, " _so it's getting serious then?_ "

Louis just shrugged, " _I guess you could say that._ "

Eleanor came up in more and more interviews after that and Louis seemed to be less and less inclined to talk about her each time. All of a sudden his life had less to do with One Direction and everything to do with his relationship status. Interviewer after interviewer asked about Eleanor Calder and Louis after Louis forced smile after smile to tell them how much he 'loved her'.

"Why did I date her for so long?" He finally asked after he snapped at the third interviewer in a row on screen, "I seem miserable. We all sort of seem miserable actually."

Zayn sighed, "you didn't really have much of a choice. Management thought it would be good for your public image and you, well, you weren't really in a position to tell them they were wrong at the time."

"So they black mailed me?" Louis asked incredulously.

"I guess you could say that." Zayn said, though he hardly sounded sure of himself, "but you had your reasons to go along with it too." He pressed the play button then, forcing his attention to the screen where he was once again denying the existence of Larry Stylinson.

It was absurd of course, that anyone would ever think he and Harry were dating. Sure they were close, there was no denying that, but dating? Really? How many times did he have to tell the world he was straight before they would believe it? No wonder he stayed with Eleanor for so long. Didn't they get the point after the millionth time Harry refused to even acknowledge the subject?

They're music got better with the start of the Take Me Home video, but the interviews did not. Instead of watching himself crack joke after joke with the boy he was starting to believe might actually have been his best mate he watched himself sit on the opposite end of the couch and tell every interviewer how happy he was with the girl he couldn't believe he'd ever dated while Harry twiddled his thumbs and stared at his lap.

He also had to watch his arms fill up with tattoos and nearly choked on a bite of muffin the first time he caught a glimpse of the words 'It Is What It Is' written across his own chest. The only thing that made it even remotely okay was watching everyone else's body's fill up three times as fast as his own. Why couldn't he have been like Niall and stayed tattoo free for just a little bit longer?

"You don't like them?" Zayn asked when he caught Louis glaring at the stag on his bicep.

Louis shrugged, "they look okay on him, I'm just not sure they're really me, y'know?"

Zayn frowned and pointed to the still much younger Louis on the screen, "Lou, he is you."

"I guess."

"I've been with you every step of the way mate, he might not look like the kid that tried out for x-factor anymore but I promise he's got the same heart." Zayn said.

Louis relaxed just a bit at that. He didn't seem so awful on screen. He still pulled plenty of pranks and he was always making the rest of the band laugh. Plus he was still protective as hell and he definitely knew how to stand up for himself when need be.

Maybe they weren't so different after all.

The video changed then, from the deafening screams of a crowd at Madison Square Garden (their third time playing there in just two short years) to what appeared to be a twitcam. It wasn't anything special, just Harry sitting on a comfortable looking couch answering fan questions.

" _Harry,_ " The Harry on screen read aloud, " _please read this poem I wrote, it would mean the world to me I love you so much!_ "

He squinted his eyes just a bit, clearly doing as he'd been told and reading the fan's poem like the good little pop star he seemed to be.

Louis popped into the frame a few seconds later, hair still dripping wet and a cup of tea in hand. He didn't hesitate for even a second to lift Harry's arm and drape it around himself as he settled down into the couch. Harry's only form of acknowledgement was to silently pull Louis closer.

" _What're you reading, love?_ " He asked. His eyes flicked from Harry's face to the screen a few times before he nuzzled his face into Harry's chest and grinned up at him, " _Earth to Hazza, anybody in there? Can anybody hear me?_ "

It took another few seconds before Harry's attention snapped to Louis with a distracted sounding hum.

Louis didn't seem bothered by it though. He just chuckled and -

Woah.

Louis couldn't help himself he had to play it again.

" _Can anybody hear me?_ " He heard himself repeat, watched himself stare up at Harry like he was the only person in the whole entire world who mattered. 

Harry's head turned slowly, his eyes lingering on the screen until they actually couldn't anymore and then, without any hesitation, Louis tilted his head up and gave him a quick kiss on the lips like it was nothing at all. Nothing and everything at the same time.

No question about it Harry kissed him back and the expression on his face when he pulled away, the look in his eyes that could be seen even with the terrible video quality, it was enough to make Louis' skin crawl.

Then all of a sudden it was gone. Replaced by sheer panic as Harry's eyes darted to the laptop.

" _What's wrong?_ " Louis' voice came through the speakers, replaced by that of a deranged man on the run.

" _I was, Louis- I,_ " Harry stuttered, " _I'm doing a twitcam._ "

Louis' hand slammed down on the pause button, his eyes flying wildly to Zayn. "What the _hell_?"

"S'not quite the reaction we were hoping for." Zayn said slowly, cautiously.

"What were you hoping for?" Louis snapped, "that I would just accept the fact that I sometimes hook up with my flat mate / best friend / band mate who's a _guy_ and who may or may not be sleeping with my mother when I'm not around?"

"Oi, _what_?" Zayn's eyes flew to the screen for a moment before locking in on Louis once more, "have we been watching the same film?"

Louis rolled his eyes, "what, am I wrong? I just watched myself kiss him!"

Zayn nodded slowly, "right, yeah, but what's that about your Mum?"

"You should hear the way she talks about him Zayn, I swear, it's like she thinks he built Mount Olympus or something! And she's got all these pictures of him on her phone, pictures of him at our _house_ , it's weird." Louis explained, his arms flailing around to emphasize his point.

Zayn just rolled his eyes, "just keep watching, yeah? I promise it'll all make sense."

"Why would it ever make sense for me to hook up with my band mate, who's still a _guy_ might I add!" And okay, so maybe it wasn't all that far fetched that he might like a guy. He had made out with a mate from the footie team once or twice at a party and he certainly had a kind of appreciation for tan and toned abs. But casually hooking up with his roommate? That seemed like something else entirely.

"Just watch, okay? If you're still confused at the end of it all we can talk."

Louis groaned but obliged, grabbing a muffing out of the basket before pressing play once more.

He didn't realize it before, but they both looked downright terrified. Probably because they'd just kissed on a twitcam in front of thousands of fans. While he was supposed to have a girlfriend. How exactly had this become his life again?

Harry ended the twitcam a few seconds later and the screen stayed black for a little while before coming to life once more in what appeared to be an expensive TV studio. There was a dark maroon couch to the right and a single dark maroon arm chair to the left with what appeared to be the London Skyline out the window in the background.

A slim brunette woman in an exceptionally professional beige dress sat in the arm chair and the camera zoomed in on her until the cheers of the studio audience died down.

" _You know their names,_ " She began with a pristine smile, " _you know their songs, now it's time to hear their story. Ladies and gentlemen, One Direction!_ "

The crowd came to life once more, larger and louder than before, as the five of them walked on stage and took their seats on the couch, Liam and then Zayn, Louis, Harry, and Niall.

It started out generic enough, questions like " _is it good to be home again?_ " and " _have you started work on your next album yet?_ ". All five of them smiled through it while Liam answered most of the questions. There was something off though. Where they normally made cheeky comments they were silent. Not once did any of them whisper to each other or laugh at something stupid or even touch each other really. They just sat there and smiled.

And then the interviewer paused and her smile faded into a serious expression.

" _Now boys,_ " She began, all prim and proper, " _I understand there's been some controversy over a recent twitcam one of you did, right?_ "

They all nodded but no one spoke. Louis barely even moved.

" _Let's give it a look, for those at home who haven't had a chance to see it yet._ " She nodded once and they all turned to watch the screen behind them as the video took over.

Zayn was watching him again. Gaging his reaction he assumed. Louis just kept staring at himself. He looked pale, scared. Harry's hand settled on his thigh and they exchanged a look that said more than any words ever could.

"All this over one little kiss?" Louis asked.

Zayn didn't say anything.

The twitcam ended and the camera switched back to the interviewer. " _There's been a lot of speculation surrounding this video in the past few days. Care to enlighten us?_ " She prompted.

The camera panned to the couch were they all sat. They looked nervous, like maybe they hadn't expected this, or maybe they'd been dreading it all along. The Louis on screen straightened up, pushed forward just a bit, and cleared his throat. " _We ehm, Harry and I, are dating._ "

Pause.

Rewind.

" _We ehm, Harry and I, are dating._ "

Rewind.

" _Harry and I are dating._ "

" _Harry and I are dating._ "

Louis paused the video and stared at Zayn in complete disbelief. "Did I just come out on national television?" he asked, his voice too calm and his eyes too easy.

"You did."

"Why the _hell_ would I do that?" Louis asked, "and I'm dating Harry? Why the hell would I do _that_? He can't even talk to me! He hardly ever even looks at me!"

Zayn frowned, shook his head, "he's scared, Louis, you've got to give him time."

"He's scared? He's scared?! Seriously? He's not the one who's just gone and lost three years of his life! Who's apparently gay and dating one of his band mates because oh, right, he's actually in a world famous boy band!" Louis flopped back down onto the bed with a huff and dragged his hands down over his face. When he spoke again his voice was quiet, sombre, just barely a whisper of what it had once been. "Who am I Zayn?"

Zayn sighed, "you're Louis Tomlinson, and you're in love. So in love, it's a bit disgusting sometimes but we deal with it, because we all love you too."

"I, I love? I'm in love?"

Zayn nodded, "Can't you tell?"

Louis looked back to the paused image on the screen, to the way Harry was smiling at him, always watching him. To the way the rest of the band was smiling too. Feather light and free from the weight they'd been carrying for so long. He supposed he could see it in the things they didn't say. The looks they gave and the coincidental touches, they were all pieces of a much bigger puzzle.

"So then why does he hate me?" Louis asked.

"He doesn't hate you," Zayn promised, "he just doesn't really know how to not know you, you've seen the videos, you two were in each other's back pockets from day one."

"And now he's a stranger." Louis concluded with a small nod.

If it was true, and they really were in love, Louis couldn't imagine how hard Harry must be taking things. At least he himself was blissfully ignorant of the love he'd lost. Harry had to watch it remind him every single day.

He pressed play.

" _We weren't ready to come out yet before, but we've talked about it and it just seems like it's time._ " Louis continued on screen at the interviewer's urging, " _it's been almost a year now we've been together._ "

" _A year?_ " The interviewer echoed, "t _hat couldn't have been easy, keeping it a secret for so long._ "

All five of them nodded at that and gave various forms of agreement. She asked about their other alleged relationships and their privacy, or lack there of, while on tour. They talked about sleeping arrangements and family approval (which of course they had in overwhelming amounts) and even their plans for the future.

" _What about kids?_ " The interviewer asked, " _d'you think you'll want them someday down the line?_ "

" _Oh yeah,_ " Louis said with a decisive nod.

Harry nodded as well, " _definitely, yeah._ "

" _Really? Even as young as you are you know that for sure?_ " She asked.

Again they both nodded.

They took a few fan pictures and sang a couple songs and then the interviewer signed off and the screen faded to black. Louis paused the video once again and turned to Zayn. "I love him? Still?"

Zayn nodded slowly, "you did, yeah."

"And he loves me? Still?"

"I think he'll always love you." Zayn agreed.

"And I live with him?" Louis pressed.

Zayn nodded, "you always say he's the best room mate you've ever had."

"Are we married?"

Zayn paused for a moment before shaking his head, "not as far as I know."

Louis frowned, "what's that supposed to mean?"

"Just that I wouldn't put it passed the two of you to go do it in secret." He said it with an air of nonchalance that lead Louis to believe it wasn't the first time it had come up, like this was something they'd all discussed and agreed upon together at some point.

Louis unpaused the video again and watched as it turned to something pixely. A dark room with the sound of rain in the background.

" _We're feeling a bit down today._ " Niall's voice said as someone adjusted the camera and brought it into focus on the five of them.

" _Things aren't looking good for the rest of the Take Me Home tour._ " Liam continued just as seriously.

Harry clapped his hands together, his elbows resting on his knees, and leaned forward a bit, " _but we're still grateful for all of the support we've received over the past few weeks._ "

It didn't last much longer than that, just enough to say that they hoped to be able to finish the tour soon and they loved all of their fans. There weren't many interviews during that period.

Liam got a haircut and Zayn died the tip of his quiff blonde and all of a sudden everything seemed to be back on track. Music videos and awards shows and a disgustingly adorable couple staring a guy who looked suspiciously like himself.

The longer he watched the longer he started to believe it, to agree with it all. Maybe they really were in love. They certainly looked it. Especially in the few home videos they were able to include, mundane things like Louis reading in the living room and Harry cooking breakfast in nothing but his boxers and a bright pink princess apron.

Love.

He'd fallen in love.

By the time the This Is Us video ended Louis was convinced. He still couldn't remember it, and he certainly didn't feel it then and there, but he believed that at some point that it had been true. Before the accident they were in love.

"What happens now?" Louis asked as he closed the laptop and pushed it away from himself.

Zayn pointed to the manilla folder, "now you pick that up."

Inside sat a tall stack of papers clipped together in groups of various sizes. The first was the thickest, song lyrics to all of their songs. The next appeared to be a cheat sheet of answers to the most commonly asked interview questions. Third came a copy of their itinerary for the upcoming trip and Louis looked it over absently for a moment before continuing on to the fourth and final packet. This one looked like another cheat sheet except instead of interview questions it had facts about Harry.

There was a little sticky note in the corner marked with red pen - " _memorize this. You'll need it. First date is Friday, 7:00._ "

"Date?" Louis questioned skeptically.

Zayn nodded and pointed to a highlighted section on the itinerary under a section titled 'Public Relations & Marketing', " _persons STYLES and TOMLINSON to remain dating until further notice._ "

Of course.

 

**ORIGINAL CHAPTER SIX**

 

Harry didn't come to visit for the rest of the week.

Niall and Liam and Zayn did, and so did Paul and Lou and even his Mum and his sisters made the journey, but never Harry. 

So instead of getting to know the guy he was being forced into dating, Louis spent the last few days of his time in rehab studying Harry Styles flashcards and listening to the same songs over and over again until he knew every last word.

Eleanor came to visit on Thursday, her eyes bright and her hair falling loose around her shoulders. It wasn't hard to understand why he fell for her. She laughed in all the right places and always knew how to put a smile on his face in return.

She brought him a proper lunch from a cafe down the road (which, though he hated to admit it, was a million times better than the fast food Zayn had been sneaking in for the past week) and helped him learn every last thing about his beau to be. She brought playing cards too so when the Harry Styles fun facts got old they switched over to Rummy.

"Can I ask you something?" Louis asked eventually, his voice soft as he set his hand face down in the space between them on the bed.

Eleanor nodded. She folded her hand into a neat pile and set it down as well before clasping her hands and setting them down on her crossed legs. "What's on your mind?" She asked.

Louis sighed, "I just, I don't get it."

"Get what?"

"This, all of it." Louis explained as he motioned to the room, to the boot camp briefcase still sitting on the bedside table and the security guard who'd become a less than friendly constant in his life. "I mean why can't I just say I've forgotten? Why do I have to pretend I'm still in love with Harry?"

Eleanor sighed, "it's not that simple, Lou."

"Well then what about you?" Louis pressed.

"What about me?"

"Why did you pretend to love me for so long?"

Eleanor paused. For just a moment Louis thought maybe he might have crossed a line, that maybe he'd put too much faith in her laugh or her smile or her eyes. She stared at her hands as her thumbs brushed over each other once, twice, three times. "I wasn't pretending."

It was barely audible, hardly more than a whisper, but Louis heard it just the same.

"I kept thinking, maybe, if I just played along and helped you keep your little secret you might remember why you fell for me in the first place." She continued as the seconds stretched on into minutes, "I thought I could make you love me again."

"El, I-"

"No, Lou, don't apologize. Please, whatever you do, don't apologize." Eleanor said quickly as her eyes darted up to meet his, "I was hardly a martyr. I said a lot of really, really terrible things to you. About Harry and.. and about you. There's a reason you look miserable towards the end there. I hardly made it easy for you."

"Easy for me?" Louis asked in disbelief, "I broke your heart and then forced you to keep dating me!"

Eleanor sighed and shook her head once more, "you didn't force me to do anything, love, it was my idea."

"But Zayn said our management-"

"Made you do it?" Eleanor nodded, "they did. After I called them and told them not to send out the press release about our breakup. You were so worried about Harry and how he would take it all that you didn't put up much of a fight. By the time you realized you wanted out it was already too late."

"So all of the insanity, you put up with it.. all for me?"

Eleanor shrugged, "you're worth it."

She collected the cards while a nurse brought Louis his evening medication. She was asked to leave shortly after, _"Louis needs his rest for his big day tomorrow"_ the nurse explained. Neither of them put up much of a fight.

"For what it's worth," Eleanor said as she lingered by the door, one hand on the knob and the other clutching her purse, "I'd do it all again if you asked me to."

She left without waiting for a response. For the best probably, because despite Louis' lack of sleep he still didn't know what to say by the time Zayn barged into his room the next morning with Niall and Liam in tow.

"Big day today Tommo!" Niall said with a grin, "no more pre-chewed hospital food!"

"And you get a real bed!" Liam added.

Zayn didn't say anything he just leaped onto the bed and smothered Louis in a tight hug, "what'sa matter with you, Lou, you look like you've seen a ghost or summin."

"Just didn't sleep too well is all." Louis said, only half lying, "now get off me so I can get dressed."

"Think you've forgotten how this works mate." Niall teased, earning a hard jab in the ribs from Liam.

Louis rolled his eyes, "I might've forgotten a few things but I think I can still manage to dress myself."

"What, and put me out of a job?" A female voice asked as the door burst open once more and in walked Lou with Lux on her hip and a garment bag in her hand, "c'mon, up up, let's have a look at you then."

Louis did as he was told, twisting and twirling at Lou's request before plopping back down on the bed with a huff. "So that's it then? I don't get to dress myself anymore?" He asked as Lou set to taming the tangled mess that was his hair while Lux clung happily to Niall's leg.

Lou chuckled and shook her head, "not to official One Direction events."

Because apparently being released from a medical rehabilitation facility for amnesia patients is an Official One Direction Event. Cool.

Before long his hair was perfectly quiffed (a style he still couldn't quite wrap his mind around despite all the photograph evidence that he had in fact been wearing it like that for months) and his skinny skinny skinny jeans had been steamed and pressed. How exactly had he gotten to wearing them that tight again? He eyed himself in the bathroom mirror, followed the cut of the black jeans up to the hem of the plain grey jumper. A little dark for his taste but Lou promised the clothes had all come from his own personal closet at his flat. A flat he'd be seeing for the first time in just a few short hours.

"Lou," It was Zayn's voice, Zayn's head poked through the bathroom door and Zayn's eyes meeting his own in the mirror, "Harry's here."

Harry. Of course he'd be there. How could Louis possibly be so naive as to think he'd be released without the appearance of his 'better half'? Especially when everything else about his release had been so well choreographed by... by whoever gets to pull the strings of his life these days.

He sighed and nodded, mumbling an acknowledgement before following Zayn out of the bathroom.

Harry looked.. better. Healthier than the last time Louis had seen him. His shirt hung loose around his shoulders and his pants clung to his legs in a way that made Louis wonder if maybe they had been painted on rather than pulled. And really, when had that become the go-to style?

His eyes lit up the moment they landed on Louis, no question about it, and he took a quick step towards him before stopping himself - outstretched arms falling back to his sides. "Hi." He murmured instead, awkward and sheepish but mildly endearing nonetheless.

"Hi." Louis echoed.

They stared at each other, neither moving, neither speaking. Louis was at a complete loss. He wanted to look away but- but what? He wasn't falling in love at first sight, there were no blinding lights or magical epiphanies. No innate need to touch or be touched. For every ounce of love he might have felt in a past life he felt an equal amount of ambivalence in the here and now. And yet he couldn't look away.

"Well, go on then." Lou said without much warning, "let's get a picture shall we?"

They all shuffled into formation, Zayn wrapping an arm around Louis' shoulders from the left and Harry slipping an arm around his waist from the right. Liam and Niall joined in on either side and they posed for all of thirty seconds before Lou cooed and the group disbanded.

It was only a moment later before the door opened and a team - a whole team - of security guards showed up to escort the band out of the facility.

"Is all this really necessary?" Louis questioned as they passed through the empty halls towards the front exit of the building, "I mean there's five of us and eight of you."

Niall laughed and ruffled his hair, "just you wait Tommo."

He didn't have to wait long.

The screaming started the second the doors opened. It was obscene really. Deafening.

Louis' eyes flitted frantically from one side to the other but from what he could tell there was no end. No escape. Surely there was another reason these people were here, a parade or a protest of some sort? Why else would there be barriers up to block the crowd. Could they really have expected this many people to show up just to watch them walk from the building to the van at the far end of the parking lot? Honestly?

All of a sudden he was exceptionally grateful for the four boys around him, even more so for the eight body guards surrounding them.

"Lou," It was Harry's voice this time, Harry's hand spanned out too low on his back and Harry's voice much too close to his ear.

He didn't mean to flinch away from it, honest he didn't, but Louis was overwhelmed enough as it was and despite his vast knowledge on the subject Harry was still a virtual stranger.

That didn't stop Harry from pulling his hand away as though Louis' skin had actually burned him.

"I'm sorry." Louis heard himself say but Harry just shook his head.

He followed the boy's gaze ahead of them to where their once closed off group had since disbanded, Liam and Niall off to the left signing autographs while Zayn took fan photos on the right, security dispersing appropriately to cover it all.

"What do I do?" Louis asked. There were people screaming his name now, chanting it in a methodical rhythm that Louis didn't really know how to respond to.


End file.
